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Married For 24 Years But Living Single

Many people believe that they want an everlasting marriage, they want their marriage to last a lifetime. Most marriages in the world today end in divorce. While some are not aware of the commitment they are making when entering marriage, many lack the understanding of what it takes to stay married. Although during courtship, intended couples get to know one another and learn from each other’s view by talking about important issues like career, finances, religion, the number of children, where to live etc. but things changes as soon as the wedding vows are said. A lot of couples are eager to exchange wedding vows on their wedding day but sadly after that day, they fail to live by the vows. They allow their hectic lives and busy schedule to get the better part of them and they soon start drifting away. They get too busy to spend enough quality time together and this often leads to breakdown in communication which is a vital factor in marriage.

Infidelity in Marriage

Ever since I found an aphrodisiac in my husband’s bag, I’ve always questioned myself why would my husband be having extramarital affairs? What could have made my husband infidelious? I had several questions on my mind, is cheating truly a man’s nature? Is my husband a philander because we’re not living together since we got married or is he exposed to temptations he couldn’t resist in his place of work?

Many people believe that the unmarried are more depressed and unhappy when compared to married ones. I was also of this opinion, but my marriage was an eye-opener.

The way he loved me before marriage, was now the reverse in marriage.

Some of our early courtship memories include organized party to mark my 21st birthday, it was fun and everyone in attendance had a swell time. Whenever I spent the night at his place, he would wake me up in the morning to get ready for classes, by the time I came out of the shower he would have selected and ironed my clothes I would wear that day and breakfast would be ready. 

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Ill Treatment Received from my Husband

I boarded a bus going to Ijebu-Igbo and alighted at Oru, a small town along the route. I was in pain all through the journey, my whole body was burning up with a fever and my belly hurt badly with cramps. I held back the pain and fought back tears from running down my eyes. As I got closer to where I will alight, I called my husband to please come to the bus stop to wait for me. I spotted my husband standing at the bus stop as I came out from the bus and started to walk towards him in pain. I expected my husband to walk towards me at least to give me support while I walked but instead, he ignored me and walked on ahead to where he had parked his car over a distance. Anyone seeing us as we walk apart would never have imagined that we were together. I could barely walk and each step I took became heavier and all my husband did was watch me from his car where he sat. When I finally got to the car, he zoomed off and drove me home to his place. I realized he had no intention of taking me to the hospital, I insisted I wouldn’t sleep in his house that night without being examined by the doctor. He argued he couldn’t drive well at night but after much persistence from me, he eventually drove me to his cousin’s clinic in Ijebu Ode.

When I got back home that night, I noticed I was bleeding but assumed it was my monthly flow although it was very painful with clumps. I felt weak and dizzy and had cramps in my stomach. It was as if a dog was running around in circles chasing its tail. I screamed in pain as I went for my bed.

The journey as the gold was being refined – an account of my journey so far. I accept myself as I am, wearing my scars physically and emotionally as my badges of honor. To every person who has ever felt unloved, unwanted, worthless, suicidal, hassled by life, I say to you – NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. Because you are one in eight billion – a rare, special individual. There is NO ONE like you and you are here for a good and great purpose. To every person who sees another in dire need – stretch out that helping hand and raise up another fallen hero.

If you find this article interesting then you will definitely enjoy reading my book, titled “married for 24 years but living single” the simple strategy to be delivered from the mess. It’s available on Amazon and also will be available on Lulu with the subtitle of the same book “Leah the Unloved wife”.

See link to the book

Married For 24 Years But Living Single : The Simple Strategy To Be Delivered From The Mess eBook : Olabisi , Debbie : Kindle Store



You can follow the author on her social media handles.

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