On the Shelf
‘Good Time Lady’
By Heather GaySimon & Schuster: 288 pages, $30If you purchase books linked on our web site, The Occasions might earn a fee from Bookshop.org, whose charges help unbiased bookstores.
When a “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” castmate first described Heather Homosexual as a “good time girl” who uncovered her breasts whereas attending Brigham Younger College, an insulted Homosexual insisted that couldn’t be farther from the reality. She wished that was her fame, however the identify plagued her within the early days of the Bravo collection and triggered a rift with Lisa Barlow, the castmate describing her that approach. (The pair are shut now.)
Some 4 years later, Homosexual has reclaimed the label that when irked her and titled her second ebook — a follow-up to her 2023 debut, “Bad Mormon” — “Good Time Girl,” out Dec. 3 through Gallery Books.
In it, Homosexual, 50, reveals that she was at all times a “good time girl” on the within, however her Mormon religion in the end dimmed that mild; she recounts susceptible anecdotes about bedwetting, her ex-husband throwing out her CD circumstances and a friendship with a lesbian named Martha. When it got here to deciding which tales to inform, Homosexual requested herself: “How can I be honest about my marriage, honest about young motherhood, and still honor their father, their history and their story?” For her, it was a “really delicate balance.”
She considers “Good Time Girl” a chance for her to embrace the id she as soon as pushed away on account of her since-abandoned Mormon religion. “It’s crazy to look back at who I was,” Homosexual says over the cellphone from her front room in Salt Lake Metropolis. “Somehow wherever you go, there you are. I couldn’t escape it.”
In an interview, Homosexual displays on leaving Mormonism behind, final season’s Actuality Von Tease reveal and the way turning into a actuality TV star modified her life, giving a shoutout to Magnificence Bar + Laser, a Utah enterprise she co-owns with Dre Robinson, alongside the best way.
After “Bad Mormon” got here out, do you know you instantly wished to put in writing one other ebook?
Properly, I had 10 books in me. Once I wrote “Bad Mormon,” I wanted to trim it down, so I used to be simply chomping on the bit to put in writing a second one. However actually what motivated me to do it so rapidly was the response we bought from “Bad Mormon” and the best way that that was simply so fulfilling to me in so some ways, and actually helped me transition out of the church. [It] actually helped me by means of onerous instances with “Housewives.”
The label “good-time girl” turned this scarlet letter that was following you round initially of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” which you’ve clearly reclaimed. What introduced you thus far, and what made it good for the title of this ebook?
There’s no query that my life has radically reworked within the final 5 years, and it’s due to “Housewives.” It’s due to moments like Season 1, when Lisa says, “I think she’s like, ‘Woo, a good-time girl.’” That was my first time being uncovered to the world, and to have that be my fame, I used to be so embarrassed and ashamed. Quick-forward 5 years later, when you consider the issues I’ve been by means of on tv, that was nothing. And now “good-time girl” has change into the explanation I’m having fun with my life. That identify turned what I wished to be fairly than one thing I used to be afraid of.
Heather Homosexual has leaned into the picture she as soon as rejected with the quilt of “Good Time Girl.”
(Gallery Books)
That is sensible. It’s been actually unbelievable seeing you open up about discovering freedom from Mormonism. Do you’re feeling like, with out this present, you’ll have been capable of embrace your self totally?
No, by no means. “Housewives” actually was the one approach for me out. It rescued me as a result of I wouldn’t have had the monetary independence, and I wouldn’t have had the help. I do know that sounds loopy, however the followers are so supportive and [so is] the group of “bad Mormons.” Writing the primary ebook and seeing that group simply explode in entrance of me turned the help system that I wanted with a purpose to transition out of the religion. There are issues I’m saying on this ebook that I used to be afraid to say three years in the past. Yearly, as I get farther away from the religion and farther away from the indoctrination, I can see extra clearly.
Inform me why it was vital so that you can focus on your nonetheless discomfort round intercourse in addition to the present challenges throughout the courting scene.
Lots of who I’m on tv and who I’m in actual life is a contradiction. I prefer to make jokes, I prefer to have all this bravado, however I’m actually type of a prude and shy. It’s these two conflicting worlds, and I grew up in such a steep purity tradition that it’s simply hilarious to me how what I assumed was brazen and inappropriate was regular rites of passage for any teenage lady or younger grownup. However I at all times thought it made me some depraved particular person. So once you’re now not taking a look at your self by means of that lens of wickedness, ardour and all of the issues that I assumed had been detrimental, now I can see how they affected me. However on the identical time, it doesn’t imply there’s not baggage. I might like to be sexually free as my daughters are, however that was not the world I grew up in. And I wish to be sure that I’m sincere about it as a result of illustration issues, and I’m positive there’s different girls on the market who really feel it and wish to discuss it.
How did you choose the tales to inform for this ebook?
I appeared again on core recollections in my life that I had considered as me being a sign of my weak point, my wickedness, my cope with the satan, so to talk. And the final 5 years, I’ve been dwelling outdoors of the church, brazenly not Mormon, having intercourse, ingesting, doing issues that any grownup divorcée needs to be doing, however for me, it was [under] this umbrella of “forbidden.” That’s comparatively small in comparison with my whole life. So I appeared again at core recollections I had that had been formed by disgrace, my perspective, and by my religion and my id as a Mormon. I wished to look again at these and forgive that little lady, keep in mind her, honor her, and honor her recollections and forgive myself now for why I’m the strolling contradiction that I’m.
How did the “receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots” second in Season 4 of “Housewives” change your life and trajectory on the present?
I’ve at all times, my entire life, wished to say that. I might hope that it earns me an honorary star among the many greats in these fiery Housewives, only a star on the “Housewives Walk of Fame” in Andy’s Clubhouse. I hadn’t actually considered it on a private degree, however my instant reply is it’s essentially modified my relationship with my castmates and with my associates. It completely transfigured it. It felt like there was one thing transformative that occurred to our friendship and to our bond. And regardless that we’ve had tons of battle and we’re nonetheless working by means of numerous our residual battle, I nonetheless really feel that love and loyalty that I can solely attest to that night time in Bermuda and the best way that all of us bonded collectively and the best way we had one another’s backs. It modified all the things for me — my consolation degree on the present, my pleasure in filming, my need to be out and about and in my love of being a Housewife, which is my new id in so some ways.
There are clearly situations of “Housewives” which might be extra produced than others. How a lot of what we truly noticed throughout that Bermuda episode the place Monica [Garcia] was uncovered as Actuality Von Tease occurred in actual time?
The one factor that we knew after we walked into that dinner, the 4 of us, was what we had been capable of share in that hour on the seashore. And everybody addressed within the finale what they knew. However the best way that all of them had my again … as a result of I needed to say to them, “Listen, this information is still coming in, but I have seen it. I’ve seen the proof, I’ve seen the screenshots, it’s undeniable.” And in Housewives code, it’s like, you’re going to must take my phrase on it. I imply, I couldn’t present them the file of data that was coming in at the moment. So it was actually simply we knew what we had been by means of, and we knew what we had been going through. We simply supported one another in that second. The aftermath is after we actually noticed the true timeline of all of it — it was principally what you noticed on TV besides it was drawn out. It was the one time we’ve had a finale when there have been no producers on the sphere. We had nobody on the market encouraging us to speak or pouring us drinks. We had been on the market uncovered for hours and preventing about it. It was a loopy, loopy night time. You needed to be there to imagine it. So I felt obligated to put in writing about it, to convey the readers into as a lot of that behind-the-scenes expertise as doable. As a result of dwelling it was loopy, and I can’t even think about watching it for the primary time with out having lived it.
It felt like watching “The Mole.” It was wild, and I used to be so impressed by it. I used to be like, “Wow, you could work for the FBI.”
My dad truly labored for the FBI. Possibly it’s in my DNA.
Have you ever been in contact with Monica in any respect since all the things?
No. We did have an ongoing authorized battle, however we had a abstract judgment and the choose awarded us, in our favor, all the things. So I feel that’s going to be my final contact together with her. She got here to a deposition, and that’s the final time I’ve seen her. However we didn’t converse.
How usually do you hang around with the opposite solid members once you’re not filming?
Properly, greater than I’d like. The reality is, I do hang around with Meredith [Marks] every time she’s on the town as a result of she’s like ships within the night time. You’ve bought to get pleasure from and see Meredith when she’s there. Lisa had a gap for her Vida lounge, and I used to be first in line. We attempt to truly go to dinner or drinks, all of us, every time we’re in full glam. We don’t prefer to waste the make-up. So if we had a press day, had an look or had confessionals, we’ll textual content one another and be like, “Do you want to grab drinks? I don’t want to waste the makeup.” Salt Lake Metropolis’s a really small city, and we see one another loads inadvertently or associates of associates loads. It’s a detailed group.
You continue to have associates who’re concerned with Mormonism. What’s your relationship with the faith now?
It’s actually sophisticated, and it’s actually charged. My associates nonetheless within the church who’re nonetheless associates with me simply don’t speak to me in regards to the present. They don’t speak to me in regards to the ebook. They speak to me about my youngsters, my home, my yard or my outfit. You are feeling fairly invisible. On this group, it principally impacts my youngsters. I needed to go to my daughter’s live performance choir efficiency and it was held in an attractive acoustic area, which occurs to be the Mormon Tabernacle. And guess what? The Mormon Tabernacle is staffed by Mormon volunteers, Mormon hosts, Mormon ushers, they usually’re all in Mormon garments with their tags. Even when they did acknowledge me, they wouldn’t acknowledge it. So I’m simply going to go to my youngster’s live performance feeling like I shouldn’t have a bag over my head or I’m undeserving to be there. Regardless that it’s open to the general public, it’s a free live performance and they’d say everybody’s welcome. However due to the place I’ve taken, and the issues I’ve stated, I really feel like a traitor. And that’s my day by day life. I really feel like I’ve let down the expertise for myself and my youngsters as a result of all the things in my group is constructed round Mormonism.
That’s so powerful. One thing you tackle within the ebook is utilizing Ozempic, weight reduction and the way folks have handled you in another way since. Why was it vital so that you can tackle this?
I wished to deal with it as a result of, as soon as once more, it’s a strolling contradiction the place I publicly announce to the world that I’m on Ozempic and what the expertise is like and the way I’ve misplaced weight, however then within the subsequent, “but don’t talk about my body.” So it simply felt like a very charged matter. Physique positivity modified my life and made it a safer world the place I might even really feel comfy occurring tv and I’d embrace who I used to be. However I additionally at all times want I might match into smaller garments. It’s simply this contradiction. I might see the place I used to be at, however I wouldn’t have advised anybody about Ozempic if it hadn’t labored. It felt like I needed to share it as a result of it was, as soon as once more, a strolling contradiction. You had been joyful representing the midsize women, and now you’ve by some means betrayed that group by shedding pounds. Like I stated within the ebook, no matter my pants dimension, my issues by no means shrink accordingly.
What’s your perspective on “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”?
I like them as a result of they’re youthful, braver and extra advanced than I used to be after I thought I could possibly be a Housewife and simply put on garments that appeared like I is perhaps sporting my clothes and carry milk across the cocktail events. That world the place you possibly can stay each methods. I’m excited to see what occurs to them of their marriages and their lives as a result of I’m on the opposite facet of it now. I do know what it was prefer to be a younger Mormon mother, and it’s actually, actually onerous.
Have any of these solid members been in contact with you for the reason that present aired?
No, they haven’t reached out for recommendation, which is disappointing, as a result of they don’t see themselves as “bad Mormons.” That’s what’s fascinating about our religion: that they’ll see themselves as dangerous Mormons ultimately, the world will inform them they’re. I do know Demi [Engemann] by means of Angie Harrington and her ex-husband, Bret, so I’ve seen her at 4th of July events and Christmas get-togethers as a result of they’re actually pleasant. However that’s it. I’m going to attempt to get all of [the cast] to come back to Magnificence Lab although. These are my potential clients and influencers, they usually’re beautiful.
Within the present season of “Housewives,” there’s a notable rift between you and Bronwyn [Newport]. The place do you guys stand now?
Oh, Bronwyn. They’re fairly shitty. I’ll simply say that, and I’m not simply referring to her home. I imply, it’s not that deep. She hasn’t grown on me but. The place I could have empathy, it doesn’t imply I’ve affection.
What’s your perspective on marriage now?
It’s a farce, and run from it. I feel marriage is like faith. It advantages straight white males, however it advantages males. Monetary independence offers you selections.
What would you like for your self and your life sooner or later?
It makes me emotional to have somebody ask that as a result of for therefore lengthy, I simply by no means had a future. Even after I began “Housewives,” I simply thought episode to episode, season to season. On daily basis seems like I’m on borrowed time. Proper now I’m on this honeymoon interval. My women are adults. They’re my greatest associates. They’re so joyful. I’ve damaged these generational chains, and my hope and my dream now’s to get pleasure from this life we’ve created collectively for so long as doable. They’re the explanation that I’ve survived, they usually’re the explanation I’m right here in the present day.